Aidpage is a
support network.
Ask for help
Offer help
Sign up now

Varengan

Talk to Varengan
Show: Conversations Varengan's posts only
Varengan   in reply to Marie1981   on

Marie1981

This is the World Wide Web, who knows someone reads this and hopefully help. I'm from the Netherlands but unfortunately unable to help 6 children. I pray maybe someone else reads this and can help. Meanwhile, hang in there. All the best.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Dreamer74   on

About Varengan

I actually am writing a book :-)
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Bless all   on

NEED HELP WITH CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR

You have beautiful kids! You must feel blessed. Also great you think of your step kids as your own. That doesn't always go without saying.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Gt1   on

Gt1

Hi Gt1, sent you a one-to-one
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to wonderfultobeasinglefather   on

wonderfultobeasinglefather

Hi how are you.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Joan .S   on

About Varengan

He loved a whole bunch of women (still does from what I heard from his sister) and I'm not saying that part makes him a bad person. There was so much more to it and we would have had kids but I couldn't have them anymore, my son was (and is) a miracle, a one time miracle which I'm thankful of every day of my life :-) Big time.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Joan .S   on

About Varengan

Okay, my bad. Still, that was 2011 and meanwhile I moved on.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Joan .S   on

About Varengan

Correction, I wrote he thought she looked like that and then you called her that so I did too. That way you'd know which ex I referred to. Does it really matter what I thought of her? Just by asking you are already judging but that's okay. Keeping my son out was a bit hard, he's with me 24/7. And like I wrote before, you're in entitled to your opinion. I just don't feel the need to relive that part of my past really. No movies made about that exact situation yet so feel free. Songs however, a whole bunch of 'em already excist.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to peterp   on

Why is it so hard for a struggling father to find any kind of help for the holidays for

Hi Peter, what does your son like? I will send you a message to your yahoo mail. Talk there.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to just4mykids   on

What's on your heart and mind today?

Thank you for your post, so sad to hear you and your kids had to go through the same thing knowing that it was a very hurtful time for me. I dragged my son into this and I take full responsibility for that. Still that doesn't mean that I approve of people hurting other people randomly simply because they can.

I reckon you already noticed the other posts and of course everyone is in title of their own opinion. If people choose not to understand and feel they have to stand up for the other person then so be it. I also understand that when you only read one side of the story some people might wonder why we 'let' things happen the way we did. I don't think it really matters anymore. It happened and unfortunately kids were involved.

I moved on and my son and I are okay now. I sincerely hope you and your kids are too. All will be better in the long run...x
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Andrew Wilkins   on

About Varengan

Thanx for your post Andrew. You don't have to buy my experience and I posted this back in 2011 so it's not an issue anymore. Walking away is harder than you think when there are kids involved. I had a bond with his boys and my son became attached to him. Btw he did threaten me, still that's also in the past. My son and I moved on and are doing great now. I don't see my ex anymore so all is well. However pityful it was indeed, you're right about that. It's just that sometimes you don't see things clear or you don't want to see it or you hope you can change things. Either way, he isn't a part of our life anymore. So end of story and yes, I do see the major part I had in it now. I just didn't back then...
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Jen38   on

About Varengan

What do you mean Jen38? Just asking.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to Joan .S   on

About Varengan

I wrote this in 2011 so your reply is really not useful or anything anymore. Thanx anyway for taking the time to respond. Actually my son and I are doing great nowadays so the whole thing with my ex belongs to the past. You are in title to your opinion of course but my ex his sons from his former ex (before me and during his relationship with the mother 'Brigit'of his daughter) will not agree with the shared feeling of being parents as you put it. Perhaps towards his daughter but not to those boys. They are teenagers now and fortunately are also doing great without him. But, as I said, that part belongs to the past and since we don't share a child I don't have to see him anymore. For my son and I things are back to 'normal' lol. We are enjoying each and every day, at work everything is going fine and my boy is doing well in school. What more can I ask for. You are right about being responsible for your own actions though. It's just not always that easy when there are kids involved. I consider it a life lesson.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to catmandude   on

About catmandude

 in response to montedreams...   Hey montedreams's, you're really an okay guy the way you support people with your kind words on this site. Bless you for that. Just don't put others down because they support animals. To some people animals ARE their children. I am a single mom and I believe everyone should support whatever or whomever they feel they should support if they can. I understand that you think that way though and believe me, my son and I also had our share of hardship, still please don't put others down because they feel they should help animals instead of humans. We're all God's creatures and all of us deserve to be treated with respect... You both help make the world a better place, just both in different ways... x
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to mimi21   on

help

 in response to mimi21...   You're very welcome, I just have a really hard time with people judging other people when they don't even know each other's situation. I teach my son that no one is ugly on the outside but people sure can be ugly on the inside. Anyway, thank your girls for the picture, unfortunately I couldn't view it, perhaps something went wrong with uploading? Give them my regards and your husband too of course. Hang in there...
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to mimi21   on

help

I know couples who go through the same as you. Never a shame to ask for help if you need it, especially when there are kids involved. My uncle and his wife have two girls and they are having a hard time as well. My uncle works just as hard full-time and his job was fine when he was younger but he has passed 55 now so his health is letting him down. He works outside a lot, building construction and he has to travel so much. From the 14 hours he is out there for his job, he gets paid 8.

I'm worried about him because he's got long problems and diabetes now. His wife has a heart disease but is also cleaning houses now to provide for their girls and their education. They don't talk about their financial problems but I wish they would. I know from a niece that my uncle's wife is on anti depression medications... I also know that people would be willing to help them especially knowing they have helped out others so much in the passed. But they don't ask for help therefore I'm only glad that you do. It must be hard enough as it is. Never mind those people who send you ugly messages. Not every one is like that. I am a single mother but I don't think that way. Who is that person who sent you that rude message to judge your situation. I wish you and your family all the luck in the world and I hope everything will turn out for the best...
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to DEPERATE4CHILD   on

NEED TUBAL REVERSAL CAN NOT AFFORD PLEASE HELP

 in response to gabbigoo...   I know how you feel, it's a miracle alone that I have my son. He's also 10. I have severe Endometriosis and I was not even supposed to have my boy. Almost impossible, I say almost because he’s here, alive and kicking! Had an operation 4 years ago because I also wanted my boy to have a brother or a sister and not to be alone. The operation did not have the result I wished for but the man I was with turned out to be bad news so perhaps it was meant to be.

Now the Endometriosis has returned plus I just turned 40. As sad as it makes me he will never have brothers or sisters, who knows in the future I will meet a man who's got children as well. I told my son it takes more than blood to be family. That also goes for brothers and sisters. Stepbrothers and sisters could be the next best thing. Or any one who feels like a brother or sister in his/her heart... Still, I have been where you are and I hope your dream does come true... Good luck and God bless you and your daughter.
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to SysBot   on

What's on your heart and mind today?

After a bad relationship of almost 6 years there's finally light at the end of the tunnel. I realise that my choices, good and bad, drag my son in whatever the effects are. This time, even though well meant, it has been more than ugly... I tried to make something of it, somehow believing I should, for my son and I. My son was 4 when I met him. I know now that this man has Narcissistic personality disorder. In the end I was so lost and drained my mind became numb. I paid so much of his... whatever needed to be paid... that I couldn't pay my own bills anymore. The worse it got, the less I did to make it right for myself. I was too occupied keeping that man happy and trying to make him not leave us. Thinking it's bad enough that my son's own father never cared for him already... (been a single parent from the start, not by choice but by chance) Only to find out, he was never planning on having any kind of future with us. He could never accept my son being around 24/7 and me not looking like his ex (she's like Brigitte Bardot, his words and he's right), the mother of his little girl. He also has 2 kids with another ex, he left her for this one.

I found these things out along the way because that was information he didn't really share when we were dating. Anyway he enjoyed my attempts to keep him happy and paying his stuff and making me believe that everything that was wrong in our 'relationship' was entirely my fault. My world literally crashed after such a long time of mental abuse and only after quite some time and help of true friends and new colleagues, I am where I am today... Back in my own house again and getting help with my financial situation. For all these years I let every one believe we were doing just fine and there was nothing wrong. Too long I have been too ashamed and proud to ask for help…

Still have a couple of things I have to arrange financial before I can breath fully again. My boy is doing better every day and that is what makes me tick. He’s the best and I accept that it’s his father’s own choice and loss he’s missing out on so much. I choose not to be in any kind of relationship for as long as needed and I will never let something like this ever happen again. Always open to new friendships and soul mates though. Still have a long way to go but I've noticed that I can finally dream again... *hugs*
Talk to Varengan
Varengan   in reply to GeneHale213   on

Please help Single Dad and 2yr Old Son

Just wondering how things turned out for the two or you. Hope for the best and that you were able to find some help...
Talk to Varengan
Varengan  

About Varengan

Talk to Varengan